R.I.P. Francois (Phrank) Morin 1987-2011 Stinky the Homeless Guy/Bash Bison

Hardest piece that I have ever had to write

CANOE -- SLAM! Sports - Wrestling - Raising a hat to the late Stinky the Homeless Guy

A Stinky Match

I visited Phrank in the hospital just two Saturdays ago with a group of wrestlers after the C*4 wrestling show in Ottawa.

(I wasn't planning to go to watch C*4, but Twiggy works in my office and he got the call that if we wanted to visit Phrank, we needed to do it that Saturday.)

Originally, we were going to go before the show, but we were told not to come when we got to Ottawa. During the show, Phrank's girlfriend Raph got in touch with us and told us that of course we should come no matter how late it was.

A Stinky Video Gama

The nurses freaked out when about ten of us invaded the hospital after midnight and we had to dispatch our most good-lucking charmer to seduce her into letting us stay. It didn't take much, the fact that we were all from Montreal, that's all. They knew we were there to say goodbye.

In the room, Frank had a bit of difficulty talking, but none making himself understood. I honestly don't know whether we made him laugh or he made us laugh, whether it was Mr. "Salt and Pepper" trying to furnish his apartment with knick-knacks from Phrank's hospital room with Phrank's enthusiastic assistance. Or El Generico showing Frank the sign a female fan had given him "I Want to Ride Your Ginger Beard!"

After about a half-hour that was almost a party, the nurses kicked us out because we were keeping the whole floor awake. To the very last, I don't think I ever saw Phrank without a smile on his face.

*****

A Stinky Cover

Thanks to Uno, Rotchy, Stup, Nick, Raph, Colin Delaney, Twiggy, Pat Laprade, Mark P, Colin Delaney, Ricardo Rodriguez (@RRWWE), Greg Oliver, J.R. and Flip in writing and editing the piece.

This is the Triple Threat Match that I mentioned in the article:




 

*****

Two things that I left out of the article because they seemed out of place and a bit self-promotional for me and ISW...

First I had the privilege and honour as Inter-Species Wrestling Worst Ring Announcer of the Multi-Verse to announce Phrank's first match as Stinky the Homeless Guy. As ISW's Beloved Commissioner For Life, I made Stinky the ISW Other Wrestling Champion. (Mostly by accident, I was busy haggling with Giant Tiger for one of his shirts when Stinky came up with the old ISW belt that he had found in a dumpster - where Kevin Steen had thrown it - and asked if he could keep it.)

Me taking credit for any of that would be a bit like a tree hit by lightning taking credit for inventing fire, but I am glad that I was part of Phrank's life and career.

Also Didn't Use This Picture in the Article

The other bit that I cut out was the explanation of why Flip D. Berger turned on his tag-team partner in Lady and the Tramp and cost Stinky the title.

No plate-glass windows were involved. That would be too simple - also cruel to plate glass windows.

According to ISW lore, Flip D. Berger lost a "Winner Eats the Loser" match to Moohammad the Terrorist Cow, only instead of cooking Flip and eating him, the Bovine Bomber "ate" Flip's mind, brain-washing the McJobber into quitting his McJob, dropping the D. Berger from his name, joining PETA and becoming a vegetarian.

Makes perfect sense doesn't it?

*****

A tribute video done for Stinky before he died: 

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM (#8 in a series)

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM
 Montreal, March 27th, Foufounes Electriques

The biggest question that I usually get from wrestlers is usually something along the lines of,

"Yeah, yeah your Addy Starr piece was great. Made her look like a total bad-ass even though I happen to know that every time she sees a spider in her apartment she has to call someone to come and kill it."

Good thing she is fighting a cow then.

"Whatever. I understand that you had to talk about Colt Cabana and Giant Tiger and the Contender's Clash, but..."

Wait for it. Wait for it.

"When in the blue hell fuck are you going to get to my match!?!"

And some ISW wrestlers aren't even that polite!

I just got off the phone with a very angry Badd brother. So angry that I am uncertain whether it was Chad or Brad. It may have been both of them taking turns yelling at me.

I have strict instructions to relay the following information...

"You writing this down you little punk? I will rip your head off and shit down your neck you get this sumbitch wrong! Little cock-sucker prancing around in your monkey suit being Mr. pansy-ass big shot. Mr. La-di-da Commissioner. FUCK YOU PUNK! You don't drive a Harley! You Ain't SHIT! Don't even drive a fucking rice-burner! How can you call yourself a man? 

People been telling me you been writing about this match and that match, but when my Momma has someone read to her all those fucking words you write are any of them about the BADD Family reuinion? 



Are any of them about the BADD-le Royal? HELL and Fucking NO! COCKSUCKER! 

Well you type all this down, you tell them sumbitch snot-eating peckerheads that the BADDs are coming to BONER JAM for the BADD Family Reunion. 



You get that out there so my Momma can hear it. 

You hear this Momma? 

They are talking about the BADD Family on this fucking intra-cob-webby circle-jerk thinger-jammer-whickey-whatsey. 

You tell all our cousins and uncles and cousins and nephews and cousins and aunties and cousins and all to come to BONER JAM. 

And you come too Momma! 

I love you MOMMA! 

But Momma if you come to the BADD-le Royale, I am going to throw you over the top rope onto your head! 

Yes, I will! 

Because that was how we were raised! 

You get all that cock-sucker? Get'r Done!"

Got "R" Done!

And if you are a member of the BADD Family or just want to rub elbows with the wrestling world's most notorious bad-ass biker rednecks stomp you into a mudhole just for looking at them funny family, you can only do it at Foufounes Electriques, this SUNDAY! SUNDAY!! SUNDAY!!! at BONER JAM!

SUNDAY! SUNDAY!! SUNDAY!!!

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM (#7 in a series)

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM!
 Montreal, March 27th, Foufounes Electriques

Turning from the Inter Species Wrestling Title Match and the Contender's Clash to talk about the OTHER matches on the card, it is only appropriate that we talk about the ISW OTHER Title.

The current holder of the belt is PETA poster boy, Moohammad the Terrorist Cow. The Bovine Bomber was either unable or unwilling to cross the border to put his belt on the line at Exact Change Only, so he sent his "pet" the wrestler formerly known as Flip D. Berger to fight Addy Starr for him. Flip lost the match leading to Moohammad changing the name of his human pet from Flip to Shitty and challenging Addy Starr to a match (not to mention cyber-stalking her).

It's A... Yeah How Did You Know?

Cue Admiral Ackbar...

Did I say that Flip lost his match against Addy Starr? More like Addy WON that match, the same way that she has been winning all of her ISW matches over the past two years. Moohammad is convinced that he is the dominant species, but based purely on her performance in the ring, Addy may prove to be a shock (cattle-prod?) to Moohammad's smug world-view.

Perhaps more importantly, if the rumours that I have heard are to be believed, Addy Star has been a member of the 4-H club since she was a little girl. In fact, if my sources are correct, she has been punching cows and hog-tying steers since she was 8 years old.

If Moohammad doesn't come to his senses and begin treating Addy Starr as a very dangerous opponent, he may find himself leaving BONER JAM battered, beaten and beltless... and possibly branded...

And that is if he is lucky. If he is unlucky, the only trace of Moohammad that we may ever see after BONER JAM is Addy's new black and white saddle!

Will it happen? Will Addy win the OTHER Title? Will she turn Moohammad into a variety of leather goods sold on Etsy?

Well, I would like to think so, but let me consult my in-office expert...

Magic 8-Ball says:  
To find out, you will have to be at Foufounes Electriques this SUNDAY! SUNDAY!! SUNDAY!!!

SUNDAY! SUNDAY!! SUNDAY!!!

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM (#6 in a series)

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM
Montreal, March 27th, Foufounes Electriques

A whole whack of media about the ISW Title match which keeps threatening to tear the internet in half.

I have written about the match between ISW Champion (and possibly Worst Person On Earth)  Giant Tiger and NWA World Heavyweight Champion Colt Cabana a couple of times before, but there have been a flurry of promotion for the match which (Panda!) bears repeating.

First Colt Cabana has been name-dropping BONER JAM during his weekly podcast called the Art of Wrestling. His podcast deserves a listen. Colt gets great guests and he is a really great interviewer, using his backstage access to full advantage. His most recent show is an AMAZING conversation with Davey Richards. He does a new show every week and they are all available on his web-site www.WeLoveColt.com.



During what I can only describe as a truly horrible and truly great podcast called The Programme, Colt Cabana was ambushed by Giant Tiger. Colt quickly turned the tables on the Gingerbread Man, using his interviewing skills for his own protection (and possibly edification). Used to being yelled at, GT was almost flabbergasted by Colt's genuine curiosity.



Yes, we did in fact just promote an ISW show with an extended bout of gay phone sex. If you were in Michigan listening to the podcast live, you might have seen a disturbing mushroom cloud out your window. As it turns out, that cloud was just Rotchy's head exploder-vating.

HERE! is the full pod-cast including a little bit of me.

The other podcast that covered BONER JAM is HERE!

And here is the final You-tube promo for the show:



This will be a show that you can't afford to miss!

SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

The Colt Cabana Tour = Most Amazing Weekend in Quebec Wrestling Ever?

The Colt Cabana Tour = Most Amazing Weekend in Quebec Wrestling Ever?

The two things are not necessarily related, but the newly crowned NWA World Heavyweight Champion, "Boom-Boom" Colt Cabana is about to make a mini-tour of Canada, stopping in Ottawa and Montreal and his arrival coincides with the most jam-packed wrestling weekend in theses parts that I can remember.

To start with: on Friday, we have the International Wrestling Syndicate charity show "For James" as the IWS comes out of retirement for one special night to raise money for our friend James Bryant and his family to help with his fight against leukemia.

If you can't come to the show, but would like to donate to James and his family, you can do so by clicking on the donate button below:

If you will be at the show, here is what you will see:

International Wrestling Syndicate
For James
Friday, March 25, 2011
Royal Canadian Legion Hall, 141 rue de la Legion, Deux-Montanges, Quebec, Canada
Doors Open at 7:30
Tickets are $20 - All profits to James Bryant and his family

Show will be hosted by Iron Mike Paterson
Joseph Fitzmorris promises us a special appearance by the Real Jake the Snake Roberts

The If We Were Still Running This Would Be For the IWS Tag Team Title Match:
Shane Matthews and Jagged vs. Twiggy and Franky the Mobster

The Gorilla vs. the Metrosexual Match:
Urban Miles vs. Alex Silva

The Mark the Grizzly Completely Random Partner for Arsenal Match:
Mathieu St. Jaques and the Arsenal vs. the Hardcore Ninjaz

The Black Angus Match:
Dan Paysan vs. Beef Wellington

The Tables, Ladders and Chairs Match Featuring the Last IWS Champion and His Biggest Rivals Match: 
Sexxy Eddy vs. the Green Phantom vs. PCP Crazy F'N  Manny

GIVE TIL It HURTS!!!

*****

On Saturday, in Ottawa, Capital City Championship Combat Wrestling presents Level Up 2011 featuring NWA World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion Colt Cabana.

The best thing for local wrestling promoters is that they had no idea when they booked Colt Cabana that he was about to become the champion and defender of wrestling's oldest continuously defended title belt. It's lightning in a bottle for promoters and an amazing opportunity for the wrestlers who get to face him in the ring.

For those attending, here is what you will see:

C*4: Capital City Championship Combat
Level Up 2011
Saturday, March 26th, 2011
Knights of Columbus Hall 260 McArthur Road, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
VIP Tickets $20 – Doors at 7PM (VIP ticket includes first choice seating and two bonus matches!)
General Admission Tickets $15 – Doors at 7:30pm
Show starts at 8PM


www.c4wrestling.com

Six Man Tag Team Showdown Match:
2.O (Shane Matthews & “Jagged” Scott Parker) and Cecil Nyx vs. Lucky Sabiti, Max Boyer & Brent B.

Special Challenge Match: 
“Speedball” Mike Bailey vs. El Generico

6-Man Wildcard Elimination Showdown Match:
Winner will become the #1 Contender to the C*4 Championship
Dan Paysan vs. Jae Rukin vs. Sexxxy Eddy vs. Mathieu St. Jacques vs. Player Uno vs. “Hacker” Scotty O’Shea

Open Contract Match:
NWA World Heavyweight Champion Colt Cabana vs. Sebastian Suave
Colt Cabana's Title is on the line

C*4 Tag Team Championship Match:
C*4 Tag Team Champions The N.B.A. (“MVP” Michael Von Payton & “The Prince of Persia” Rahim Ali) vs. The Wolfmun (Twiggy & Beef Wellington)

Special Challenge Match:
“Textbook” Tyson Dux vs. “Canadian Crazyhorse” Michael Elgin

“No Escape” Chain Match: 
MVP & Rahim Ali (Natural Born Assholes) banned from ringside!“Psycho” Mike Rollins vs. “Ronin” Josh Alexander

C*4 Championship Match:
C*4 Champion “Player Dos” Stupefied vs. “Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen

Colt Cabana has almost as much confidence in the literacy of wrestling fans as I do

*****

On Sunday afternoon, Colt is making an appearance for a promotion less well-known outside Quebec, CRW. Inside Quebec, it is best known for being essentially Sylvan Grenier's home promotion. Grenier used to promote a fed called T.O.W. but that fed has been defunct for several months. T.O.W.'s strategy was built around holding a few shows per year, with each one held in an arena with special guest stars.

CRW's much smarter strategy is to hold more frequent smaller shows. They took good promotional advantage from the T.O.W. shows when they were being held. It sometimes seemed like the T.O.W. ownership were either losing money or barely breaking even just to advertise CRW's shows.

Here is what they are presenting:

CRW
Colt Cabana Live
Sunday, March 27th, 2011
Centre CRW 4372 Boul. Des Grandes Prairies, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
VIP Front row: 15$ - VIP Second row: 12$ - General Admission: 10$
Restaurant Opens at 11AM - Door Opens at 1:15PM
Meet and Greet with Colt Cabana 1:30PM

The The Black Gorillaz vs. The Guitar Heroes Match:
Johnny Jack Spade & Alex Silva vs Brandon Model & Mike Gibson

The Come See The Quebec Carlito Clone DIE DIE DIE Match:
Darkko vs. Paul Rosenberg

The Sunny War Cloud sez Noone Ever Really Retires From Wrestling:
Chris Cruze vs. Alextreme

The Number One Contender's Match But Only If Dru Onyx Wins Match:
Dru Onyx vs. Sylvain Grenier

The Pat Skillz Has a Death Wish Match:
Pat Skillz vs.  “Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen

The Montreal Crowds Like to Yell OLE! Match:
Thomas "The Pipes" Dubois vs. El Generico

CRW Quebec Championship Match:
CRW Quebec Champion Mathieu St-Jacques vs. Sexxxy Eddy

NWA World Heavyweight Championship Match:
NWA World Heavyweight Champion Colt Cabana vs. Leon Saver
Assuming of course that Colt retains the title against Sebastian Suave the night before.

As Far As I Can Tell Leon Saver is Sexxxy Eddy's Unacknowledged Illegitimate Son

*****

The Climax of Colt Cabana's mini-tour is Inter Species Wrestling's long awaited return to it's spiritual home: Foufounes Electriques. In a show called BONER JAM! As Colt himself said, "It was meant to be!"

If you love wrestling, this is the show for you.

If you HATE wrestling, this is DEFINITELY the show for you!

Also fair warning I am announcing for this show.

And if you wisely come out to Foufounes Electriques on Sunday night this is some of what you will see:

Inter Species Wrestling
BONER JAM
Sunday, March 27th, 2011
Foufounes Electriques 87 Ste Catherine East, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Tickets are $15, Doors Open at 7PM, Show Starts at 8PM

www.InterSpeciesWrestling.com

Llakor Updates on the show

Mr. E Opponent

The Debuts Match:
Dan Barry vs. Mathieu St. Jacques

The Monster Mash Match:
Bastian Snow vs. Izzie Deadyet vs. A Mystery Opponent

The Bring It On Match:
Michael Von Payton vs. Frankie Arion

The Dance Battle? Match: 
Moostafa vs. “Canadian Dynamite” Max Boyer

The Badd Family Reunion Match:
Badd Family “Badd-le Royal”

The Beef vs, Bear III Match:
Beef Wellington vs. El Hijo Del Bamboo

The Other Title Match:
ISW Other Champion Moohammad The Terrorist Cow w/Shitty vs. "Barely Legal" Addy Starr

The Contender's Clash Match:
Player Uno vs. Sexxxy Eddy vs. Twiggy vs. “Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen
The winner becomes ISW Number One Contender

The Inter Species Championship Match
ISW Champion (Beef Father Fucker Champion) Giant Tiger vs. NWA World Heavyweight Champion Colt Cabana
The ISW Title is on the line. If Colt Cabana is still NWA World Heavyweight Champion, his title MIGHT be on the line.

SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

That is so much wrestling that someone's head is going to explode!

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM (#5 in a series)

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM 
Montreal, March 27th, Foufounes Electriques

Following up on yesterday's discussion about the Inter Species Wrestling Contender's Clash, it is time to turn to this match's forgotten man, Twiggy...

One of the nice things about being involved in the Quebec wrestling scene is that I get to be involved in the promos. Sometimes, I am actually in them, but mostly I help the boys cut better promos. I am not actually writing scripts for them, usually I am just suggesting a word, or a phrase or an attitude and they take that and run with it.

And then sometimes promos happen almost by accident and those are frequently the best ones.

I was in the process of fumigating the ISW office chair (that a half-naked Giant Tiger had sat in) when Twiggy came by to see me. I don't want to say that Twiggy was depressed, because that is definitely not the right word and angry doesn't really do it justice either. Twiggy is probably the most optimistic, positive up-beat wrestler person that I have ever met. Some wrestlers are "glasses half-empty" type people, Twiggy is a "forget that glass, let me tell you how deeply I believe that I am going to pin a guy who is six inches taller than me and one hundred pounds heavier than me" type wrestler.

What had Twiggy fuming a bit was a conversation that he had overheard from three ISW fans while our Air Guitar Hero was filling the black hole that he calls a stomach at Bofinger's in Montreal. One of the fans argued that Kevin Steen would win the match on the grounds that Kevin Steen always comes up big in big matches like this; a second fan believed that Player Uno would win so that he could get revenge on Giant Tiger; and the last ISW fan was trying to convince anyone who would listen (including the perplexed Bofinger staff) that Sexxxy Eddy would win this match to continue the domination of ISW by the League of Extraordinary Gentleman. None of these fans gave Twiggy the slightest chance to become the ISW Number One Contender.

I understood immediately why Twiggy was upset.

I am not going to argue that Twiggy isn't a serious underdog in this match, but consider the following:

-Twiggy has previously pinned Player Uno.
-Twiggy has previously pinned Kevin Steen (believe it or not)
-Twiggy took out Sexxxy Eddy during the cage match in Connecticut (during Exact Change Only) allowing Player Uno to win the match by pinning Giant Tiger without interference.
-This is the exact kind of match most likely to be won by a roll-up and Twiggy has won more matches by roll-up than the other three wrestlers in this match... combined.

Following up on that last point, it is easy to forget that Twiggy is one of the best trained wrestlers in Quebec. Before Beef Wellington and El Generico would let Twiggy even think of entering the squared circle for the first time in a real match, they put him through twice the training that they gave to any other wrestling student in their school at the time. Every step along the way in his training and in his career, Twiggy has had to prove that he deserves to be a professional wrestler.

Heck, Beef and El Generico used to haze Twiggy with a somewhat cruel game where they got him into pinning predicaments and if Twiggy couldn't kick out for real, they cancelled his training for the day and sent him home early. I remember the first time that Twiggy was forced to leave training early. He stormed past my office swearing that it would never happen again and (to the best of my recollection) it never did happen again.

Do I think Twiggy is a lock to win this match? Of course not, but he definitely has a shot and if Twiggy had to wrestle in any kind of match to earn a shot at the ISW title, this is probably the match that gives him the best chance to surprise an opponent for three seconds and get a flash pin.

I was saying all of this to Twiggy in the ISW office, when I added the other reason that I thought Twiggy had a great shot at winning the match, "You know Twiggy, when you think about it, Kevin doesn't need this opportunity, Sexxxy Eddy doesn't want this opportunity, and Player Uno has already had this opportunity."

(I like triptychs, sue me.)

Twiggy's face lit up and the next thing I knew he was yelling for a camera and he was taping a promo right then and there:



I think that I can say with some confidence that no one in this match wants the victory more than Twiggy, but sometimes desire is not enough. Can desire beat the veteran cruelty of Sexxxy Eddy? Can desire save Twiggy from the bullying tactics of  "Mr. Wrestling" Kevin Steen? Can Twiggy's desire overcome Player Uno's thirst for vengeance on Giant Tiger?

My heart says yes, but my head like those ISW fans at Bofinger's says, "Probably Not."

Only one way to find out for sure though...

Get your tickets for BONER JAM now! Contact me at Llakor@hotmail.com to buy them in Montreal.

Get Your Tickets NOW!

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM (#4 in a series)

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM 
Montreal, March 27th, Foufounes Electriques

Having already looked at the Title match between Inter Species Wrestling Champion Giant Tiger and the recently crowned NWA World Heavyweight Champion Colt Cabana, let's turn our attention to the men jockeying for position to challenge the winner of that match.

There are four men set to wrestle one another in a Contender's Clash match at BONER JAM (Kevin Steen, Player Uno, Sexxxy Eddy and Twiggy.) and the winner of the match will become the ISW Number One Contender.

The match started (as so many ISW matches do) after a chance encounter in the men's washroom of an Ottawa Legion hall.



The odds-on favourite to win this match is Mr. Wrestling Kevin Steen. The irony is that Steen has previously won a match to become the ISW Number One Contender... only for Kevin to never actually cash in his victory and challenge for the ISW title. In a way, it has always seemed like Kevin Steen has for years been about to win the ISW Title and just never got around to it, like it was the last thing on his to-do list that he never quite got around to checking off.

I understand all about procrastination and the regret that sometimes comes from putting off until tomorrow --- next week --- whenever that thing that never seemed quite important enough to get to until you realize the opportunity that you just let slip by. Imagine how Kevin Steen feels now. If he had cashed in his opportunity and claimed the ISW Title earlier, it would be Kevin Steen getting ready to face the NWA World Heavyweight Champion instead of Giant Tiger. There is no guarantee that Steen would have been able to turn the match into title vs. title (or a guarantee that he would have won the match) but a victory over Colt Cabana in Kevin's hometown in a match where the NWA title was not on the line, would immediately propel Steen into consideration for a title match against Cabana for the NWA title down the line.

I can tell you that Steen is furious over this lost career opportunity and when Steen gets mad his only solution is to hurt other people in the ring.

One of Steen's favourite targets to destroy in the ring is Player Uno, but Uno has become increasingly difficult for Steen to kill. Player Uno has strong motivations to win this match: he has unfinished business with Giant Tiger who ambushed Player Uno at the end of our 4 Year Anniversary show and essentially stole Uno's belt (with Sexxxy Eddy's help.)

Since losing his belt to Giant Tiger, Uno has actually pinned Giant Tiger but not in a match where the belt could go back to where Uno believes that it rightfully belongs - around his waist.

So Player Uno has to win this match to get his revenge match with Giant Tiger. To do so all he has to do is to beat on a rival that he dislikes (Kevin Steen) and the other man who cost Uno his belt (Sexxxy Eddy).

It would be easy to underestimate Sexxxy Eddy in this match. Eddy has always treated ISW like a huge drunken lark. And for ISW fans, Eddy winning this match would seem like a worst-case scenario. After all, he seems to be only in this match to protect the interests of Giant Tiger and the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

On the other hand, Eddy has always valued titles over friendships and allegiances. He has never really shown that gold-hungry mercenary streak in ISW, but then again he has never, ever been in a position to win gold in ISW before.

Eddy winning this match might actually be the worst thing that could possibly happen... not for the fans, but for the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I am sure that in theory it makes sense that if Sexxxy Eddy won this match that he would immediately allow Giant Tiger to pin him, but I don't think that Sexxxy Eddy is hard-wired that way. I don't think that Sexxxy Eddy is physically capable of passing up a chance to win a title any more than he is capable of overlooking a pretty girl.

Could Sexxxy Eddy winning this match be the first domino to fall in a chain that eventually topples the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?

There is of course, one final wrestler that I am overlooking, that the fans are ignoring and that the wrestlers in this match are not taken as seriously as they should... which might just be his secret weapon, but more about Twiggy tomorrow...

Get your tickets for BONER JAM now! Contact me at Llakor@hotmail.com to buy them in Montreal.

Get Your Tickets NOW!

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM (#3 in a series)

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM 
Montreal, March 27th, Foufounes Electriques

I was incredibly excited to post this video, but as sometimes happens in the wacky world of wrestling, events in the larger wrestling universe have overtaken my petty little schemes. What seemed like a stroke of genius only Friday now seems like an act of idiocy that could shake the very fabric of the wrestling universe.

Before we get to the video, I should explain a little bit of the context. Unlike much of the Inter Species Wrestling upper management, until the Inter Species Wrestling 4th Anniversary show, I never really had a problem with Giant Tiger. In fact, the reason that I was randomly named ISW Beloved Commissioner for Life (by Rotchy and Twiggy on commentary) in the first place?  Beef Wellington was trying to weasel out of wrestling Giant Tiger and I forced Beef to do the match. The Gingerbread Man was very appreciative of my efforts on that day and has generally shown me respect backstage ever since.

We actually almost bonded when Giant Tiger confessed to me that he was a "crack addict" until he explained that he wasn't talking about drugs and his (drunken) explicit description of rimming left me nauseous and repulsed.

To cut a long story short (too late) the point is that even after Giant Tiger and Sexxy Eddy attacked me in the ring at the conclusion of our 4th Anniversary show - leaving me with a concussion and a partially detached retina (that I will only be able to have corrective surgery for the week after BONER JAM)... Even after that, the Gingerbread Man and I have at least been able to have civil discussions and negotiations, unlike say GT and Rotch who invariably end up looking like a pair of angry 12 year-olds trying to fight while wearing Sumo fat suits. Giant Tiger even sent me an apology gift after putting me in the hospital - granted it was a box of his shit, but it's the thought that counts... Right?

When Rotchy was unable to get Giant Tiger to sign a contract to wrestle Colt Cabana at BONER JAM, I was the guy that he turned to do his dirty work. This video is the result of my meeting with Giant Tiger to discuss the contract.



Yes, I did trick Giant Tiger into signing a contract to wrestle Colt Cabana. In my defence, if Giant Tiger is still taking wrestling promoters at their word after this long, well he desperately needs to be taught not to trust us back-stage weasels. (Normally, I would love to say exactly how long GT has been in the wrestling game but Giant Tiger is the most frustratingly difficult wrestler to research that I know of.)

And I will admit, I was feeling pretty good about getting GT to sign the dotted line and he was equally pissed off at me... until Colt Cabana pinned NWA World Heavyweight Champion Adam "Scrap-Iron" Pearce on Sunday at the NWA Hollywood Pro Show to become NWA World Heavyweight Champion for the first time, making him the latest champion in a proud tradition that includes Lou Thesz, Dusty Rhodes, Harley Race, Terry Funk, Ric Flair, Sting and Ricky Steamboat, not to mention Canadian legends like Whipper Billy Watson, Yvon Robert Sr. and the recently deceased (adopted-by-Quebec as one of their own) Edouard Carpentier.

A proud tradition that might, just might, now be sullied by adding the names "Giant Tiger" to that list. There is an infinitesimally small, but real possibility that after March 27th, 2011, the Gingerbread Man could be the Inter-Galactic Beef Father-Fucker Wrestling Champion AND the Inter Species World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion AND (God Forbid) the NWA World Heavyweight Champion.

Despite the hourly phone calls, text messages and tweets that I have been receiving from members of the League demanding a title vs. title match between Colt Cabana and Giant Tiger at BONER JAM, at this time I can neither confirm nor deny that the match will be title vs. title. Heck, I can't even confirm that the match will be sanctioned by the NWA or even if Colt Cabana will still be NWA Champion on March 27th.

But there is a chance, maybe only a lottery ticket chance, but still a chance that at BONER JAM, Giant Tiger could become the new NWA World Heavyweight Champion and that possibility fills me with dread and massive, massive, massive GUILT.

On the plus side, Giant Tiger just left a tweet saying that he wants own the belt that used to belong to Dr. Dre and Ice Cube, so Colt's actual belt may not be in that much jeopardy after all.

No matter what happens though, BONER JAM has just gone from a MUST-SEE show to a OH MY GOD! CAN'T MISS THIS SHOW. Get your tickets Now! Contact me at Llakor@hotmail.com to buy them in Montreal.

Get Your Tickets NOW!

Corrections Department

In my last post about this show, I wrote the following:

before our 4th Anniversary show, Rotchy failed to get Giant Tiger to sign a contract for a match. This led to GT coming to the ring and challenging Rotchy to a match. When Rotch refused to wrestle Giant Tiger, GT declared victory and then used that victory as the basis for challenging Player Uno at the end of the show allowing Tiger with Sexxxy Eddy's help to steal the ISW title from Uno.

 I have been reminded by a certain Mikhail Rotch, Esquire, owner of ISW, of the following:

GT was granted an open contract - and he challenged me (Rotch).  I didn't come out - so it was STILL an open contract.  Thus, granting him (Giant Tiger) the chance to challenge for the title.

Rotchy is of course correct. The exact sequence of events of that show is somewhat cloudy in my mind, given that I received a concussion at the end of the show from a beating administered by Giant Tiger and Sexxxy Eddy, but I do regret this tiny, niggling error.

I will try and do a better job in the future of remembering the exact sequence of events that happen at shows where I get the shit kicked out of me.

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM (#2 in a series)

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM 
Montreal, March 27th, Foufounes Electriques

Might as well start with the headline match. The Inter Species Wrestling champion, leader and founder of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and (as he has recently reminded me) the Beef Father-Fucker Champion of the World, the one, the only (and thank God for that) Giant Tiger finally putting his title on the line against WWF veteran, Wrestling Society X star (under the name Matt Classic) and the second funniest man in wrestling, Colt Cabana.



At least in theory we are supposed to be getting Colt Cabana vs. Giant Tiger.

The fly in the ointment with that particular plan is that the ISW promoter, one Mikhail Q. Rotch Esquire, made the classic blunder of announcing the match before getting Giant Tiger to sign a contract agreeing to show up on March 27th, bring his belt and defend his title against Cabana or anyone else.

GT naturally is less than enthused about defending his title especially against world-class competition like Colt Cabana, so he started badgering Rotchy with a series of ridiculous demands. The last time something like this happened before the first ISW Connecticut show, GT made a series of ridiculous demands, Rotch caved on all of them and GT still didn't show up to the match.

Or as an even better example, before our 4th Anniversary show, Rotchy failed to get Giant Tiger to sign a contract for a match. This led to GT coming to the ring and challenging Rotchy to a match. When Rotch refused to wrestle Giant Tiger, GT declared victory and then used that victory as the basis for challenging Player Uno at the end of the show allowing Tiger with Sexxxy Eddy's help to steal the ISW title from Uno. This also led to me getting the shit kicked out of me by Giant Tiger and Eddy.

While my powers as Your Beloved Commissioner are largely honorary and theoretical, I decided to involve myself in this situation, before it spiralled out of control, which is why (I guess) when I came back from lunch the other day, I walked in on Giant Tiger sitting at MY desk, cyber-stalking celebrities online on MY computer while simultaneously making long-distance calls to California on MY phone. 

Despite the sleazy start to the negotiations, I am happy to report that I was able to convince Giant Tiger to sign a contract to show up at BONER JAM and defend his ISW title. I am not 100% happy with what I had to promise Giant Tiger to get him to sign the contract, but the contract is signed and I am told that video of the signing will be going up shortly.

While we are waiting for that, here is the black and white version of the BONER JAM poster.

BONER JAM: Black and White and Read All Over!

Credit Rotchy for making sure that BONER JAM had a great star to wrestle in the main event, but when Giant Tiger actually shows up to wrestle him, you can credit Your Beloved Commissioner (i.e. ME!) for forcing Giant Tiger to show up and bring the ISW title belt with him.

Remember that BONER JAM is at Foufounes Electriques on Sunday, March 27th. You can get tickets from me at my office. E-Mail Llakor@hotmail.com for information about tickets and some special offers.

COME! BRING FRIENDS!

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM (#1 in a series)

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM 
Montreal, March 27th, Foufounes Electriques

I had already announced this but it (Panda!) bears repeating. Inter Species Wrestling is returning to Montreal, to Foufounes Electriques on Sunday, March 27th for BONER JAM!



After a long absence from ISW, I will be returning as its beloved Commissioner and the Worst Ring Announcer in the History of the Multi-Verse.

You can certainly find the video above and more in many places on these here interwebs. Rather than posting all of them in one fell swoop, I will be be posting them one at a time with some added commentary, behind the scenes look at the promotion and emptying of the bag of some secrets since at the end of the day, I am not really promoting anymore and I don't really give a shit about kayfabe.

Let's start by showing you the first draft of the BONER JAM poster.

BONER JAM First Draft

Also just a few words about Foufounes Electriques, the spiritual home (if not the birthplace) of Inter Species Wrestling. Foufs is an intimate venue (this means that it is small) but that is really the only bad thing that you can say about the venue. The positives far outweigh that (literally) tiny negative.

The best things about Foufs (and this is by far not an exhaustive list:
The owners LOVE Inter Species Wrestling.
The beer is cheap and plentiful.

We have never had a bad show at Foufs and this includes the time when the truck bringing the ring broke down twice on the highway only arriving five minutes before the bell was scheduled to ring and to distract the crowd downstairs in the bar, we had to send out El Hijo del Bamboo to entertain the crowd and when that didn't work, we sent out the Badd Boys to beat the shit out of a Panda Bear, which was rather like sending two sharks to beat up on a gold fish and we are all going straight to hell... but even that show was great.

The crowds are always hot and into the show. Heck they are so close to the ring they have very little choice but to be IN the show. .
There is a real backstage or rather an above stage.
All the wrestlers watch the full show and frequently heckle the proceeedings.
Kevin Steen once bounced a water bottle off my head while I was announcing.

There are posters for George Romero movies on the walls which sometimes makes it look like Izzy Deadyet and Zombiefied are coming out of the walls.

Once when I was announcing the ISW 4th Anniversary results, banged my head HARD on the metal curved staircase that leads up to the back above-stage area.

Stinky the Homeless Guy once found the original ISW belt in the garbage at Foufs (Kevin Steen threw it out, the big jerk) and I accidentally made Stinky the first ISW Other Champion.

In addition to being the ISW Champion, Giant Tiger is also the proud owner of the Beef Wellington Father-Fucker Wrestling Champion of the World Belt.

And many other reasons, basically Foufs is awesome. So on March 27th, please come and bring a friend. You can get tickets from me at my office. E-Mail Llakor@hotmail.com for information about tickets and some special offers.

I will be putting up some more of these over the next little while as I post up the other videos. Feel free to send your beloved Commissioner questions to answer.

The Final Colour Poster!

Montreal Indy Wrestling News: ISW! C*4! El Generico!

Montreal Indy Wrestling News: ISW! C*4! El Generico!

Happy New Year!

For a variety of reasons, it has been a while since I have updated my blog. In fact somewhere, I have a mammoth uncompleted discussion of the end of the International Wrestling Syndicate and our last show. Partly I never got around to completing it because of some health reasons (I am having cataract surgery in March so writing for any length of time on teh computer is a pain and a half.) partly because of some more personal issues, partly because I am a lazy procrastinating son-of-a-bitch, but mostly because finishing that report feels somehow like closing the coffin lid on the IWS and shoveling dirt on it.

(For those wondering, yes we are working on DVDs of the last two IWS shows. No it won't be fast.)

But I have a bunch of news that I should talk about, so let's be about it.

1. Inter-Species Wrestling Returns to Montreal!

We are back at Foufounes Electrique in Montreal! The show is called BONER JAM and it will be Sunday, March 27th doors open at 7PM, show starts sometime later. Ticket price to be determined..

I am pleased to say that in my capacity as your beloved (but generally powerless) Commissioner, I had a little something to do with the show happening. Not a lot, God knows, but since I generally have absolutely nothing to do with the shows happening, it was nice to contribute for a change.

And since a very little power goes to my head like my pregnant sister getting tipsy off O'Doul's non-alcoholic beer, I feel the need to flex my power and make a few Commissioner style edicts:

COMMISSIONER ANNOUNCEMENT THE ONE:
To make this a proper YE OLD SCHOOL ISW show, ISW is booking as ring announcer the WORST RING ANNOUNCER IN THE HISTORY OF THE MULTIVERSE, namely... uh me.

Master of the anti-climax that's me.

Also expect the usual gang of idiots to be at Foufs and if you want to see them more often convince everyone you know to pack Foufs to the rafters on March 27th.

*****

2. El Generico Dark Match at TNA!

El Generico recently had a dark match at TNA.

 On Tuesday, he wrestled against the Amazing Red and got a great reception from the fans. Reports are that the match went very well.

On Wednesday, he wrestled against T.J. Perkins (known in PWG as Puma). He was able to hit his top rope Brain-Buster for the win.

I will leave the ridiculous speculation to others, but TNA would be lucky to have him on their regular roster.

*****

3. C*4 Triumph 2011 is this weekend!

From talking to the C*4 promoter, he is trying to recreate the old Marc the Grizzly booked Madness shows. It makes sense. Both promoters have a tendency to book a ton of great matches, so much so that it almost seems like too much of a good thing.

(I know that that sounds like an odd thing to say, but if the worst thing that you can say about a promotion is that they give fans too much for their money, you are starting to pick at nits that you need a microscope to find.)

The biggest difference between the old Madness shows and this C*4 show is that the old Madness shows had absolutely no story-lines. This C*4 show will present matches that you don't need to have watched the promotion to understand, but if you did watch the promotion, the story background will give some extra enjoyment in each match.

The point that I am clumsily truing to make is that the Montreal wrestling show of the year is likely to happen this Saturday. Miss it at your own risk.

Here is the card with my comments:

Main Event#1
Three-Way Dance
C*4 Champion
“Player Dos” Stupefied
Vs.
“Canadian Crazyhorse” Michael Elgin
Vs.
Sonjay Dutt

Montreal crowds need to introduction to Stupefied, hands down the best high-flyer who wrestles regularly in Quebec and Ontario. Sonjay Dutt also needs no introduction. The hidden star of this match though is Michael Elgin. My favourite match of 2010 was a Michael Elgin match at C*4. He is a solid technical wrestler, he makes a great base for high-flyers like Stupefied and Dutt to bounce off of and when he hits people, he hits them like an 18-wheeler flattening Bambi.

Main Event#2
Special Challenge Grudge Match
“Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen & a mystery partner
Vs.
Jimmy Jacobs &”Textbook” Tyson Dux

I have known Kevin Steen a long time. He is an arrogant prick, a conceited ass-hole and the most talented wrestler that I have ever seen. He has had run-ins in C*4 with both Jimmy Jacobs and Tyson Dux. I suspect that the reason that they hate him so much is that everything that they have to work to become, Kevin Steen just is - as naturally as breathing.

Philosophically, I wonder if Jacobs and Dux are bigger assholes than Steen because they have to force themselves to become assholes, while Steen just is an asshole. Realistically, I wonder who the hell Steen will get to be in his corner with El Generico out of town this weekend? But more importantly, I look forward to Steen kicking the asses of those pompous jack-asses and I hope he has enough help to do so.

Singles showdown
Dan Paysan
Vs.
Frightmare

We are lucky that Dan has healed enough to be able to get back to active wrestling, but who knows how long that bum shoulder of Dan's will last?  We should absolutely take advantage by watching as many of his matches against good opponents as we can for as long as he lasts.Frightmare from CHIKARA should be a GREAT opponent for Dan.

Tag Team Showdown
C*4 Tag Team Champions
N.B.A
(“MVP” Michael Von Payton & “The Prince of Persia” Rahim Ali)
Vs.
2. O
(Shane Matthews &“Jagged” Scott Parker)

Speaking of assholes, M.V.P. and Rahim Ali are 2/3 of the N.B.A. or Natural Born Assholes. They will be going up one of the best and most beloved tag teams in Montreal wrestling history. I, for one, am looking forward to it.

Singles Showdown
Player Uno
Vs.
Jae Rukin

Player Uno needs no introduction. Jae Rukin is one of the best wrestlers that Montreal wrestling fans may have never heard of. That should change on Saturday.

Tag Team Showdown
The Wolfmun
(Twiggy & Beef Wellington)
Vs.
The Colony
(Fire Ant & Green Ant)

Beef Wellington and Twiggy wrestling against two man-sized ants! What is not to love?

Grudge Match
“Ronin” Josh Alexander
Vs.
“Psycho” Mike Rollins

Josh Alexander and Mike Rollins started as tag-team partners until Alexander betrayed Rollins and formed teh N.B.A. with M.V.P. and Rahim Ali. Rollins has been trying to get his hands on his former partner ever since. Montreal wrestling fans should love Psycho. He is just as deranged as they are.

Fatal Four-Way
Sexxxy Eddy
Vs.
“The Rockstar” Jimmy Stone
Vs.
Dasher Hatfield
Vs.
“The Afterparty” Cecil Nyx

I haven't really seen enough of Hatfield and Nyx to be able to prejudge this match, but any match with Sexxxy Eddy and Jimmy Stone is off to an excellent start.

Tag Team Showdown
Max Boyer & Lucky Sabiti
Vs.
The Incredible Hunks
(Deeno & Cheeky)

Like Dan Paysan, we are lucky to have Max Boyer back to active wrestling. He and Lucky make a surprisingly effective team.

So that's it, about four matches that have a serious chance to be remembered at the end of the year as the best matches that we have seen all year. The rest of the card is just terrifyingly solid and teh card as a whole risks being the best thing that we see in Montreal wrestling all damn year.

Naturally, I have tickets. They are $20. You can get them before the show by calling my cell 514.232.3873.

This is a show you definitely don't want to miss!

The rest of the info that you need:

-LIVE PRO WRESTLING!-
SATURDAY JANUARY 15th, 2011
C*4: Capital City Championship Combat
Presents
“TRIUMPH 2011”
Centre de Loisirs St-Barthélémy,
7111 Des Érables (Jean-Talon)
Montréal, Québec

Tickets $20 – Doors at 6:30pm
(VIP ticket includes first choice seating and a 1 hour VIP Bonus show w/ 4 big matches!)

*VIP tickets will be available at all upcoming nCw events*
Or
*Contact Llakor by emailing llakor@hotmail.com or call 514-285-4591.  VIP tickets are available that way – at the same time, also available are discounted IWS DVDs!*

General Admission Tickets will be available at the door for $15 – Doors at 7:30pm

Show stars at 8:00pm

Stay up to date with all of C*4’s recent news, and event info by visiting www.c4wrestling.com!
Purchase our DVD’s at www.smartmarkvideo.com.

This event would not be possible without the cooperation of Montreal’s Les Promotions NCW – check them out at www.ncw.qc.ca!

Inter Species Wrestling (and Me!) featured on G4TV Canada!

Inter Species Wrestling (and Me!) featured on G4TV Canada!

I was at the Montreal Comic-Con the first week of September SHILL~ing Inter-Species Wrestling, the International Wrestling Syndicate and the YoungCuts Film Festival.

A cameraman from G4TV's show EP Daily (Electric Playground Daily) was there and practically broke his neck doing a double-take when he saw the Inter Species Wrestling stuff. He did an interview with me, we gave them some clips to use and they edited together the piece that ran Wednesday.

(Sadly they cut the bit about the "ass-kicking" that I took at the end of our last show.)

You can see it here:
http://www.elecplay.com/​watch/​19/​297/​4/​17

Or if you have problems with that link, you can see it here:
http://www.g4tv.ca/

On the G4TV site, it is the EP Daily for Oct 28/09. The interview and clips start at 17:45.

Worth seeing for the ridiculous variation on the D-Lo Brown vest that was used at our last show.

ISW 4 Years of THIS?! Results

4 Years of THIS?!
Inter Species Wrestling 4th Year Anniversary.

We are living in the strangest, most unprecedented week in Quebec Wrestling history. We started the week with a beginning that no one saw coming and we will end the week with an ending that no one ever expected to see.

On one hand, tomorrow during the International Wrestling Syndicate show Hardcore Heat, the Green Phantom and PCP Crazy F'N Manny will face each other in a Burning Tables Match, and the loser of the match will be FIRED in every sense of the world.

So at IWS, we are about to experience an ending as one of the Hardcore originals will be banished from the promotion. Meanwhile over at Inter Species Wrestling, Sunday saw a new and completely unexpected beginning during the ISW 4th Year Anniversary as Giant Tiger became the ISW Champion, beating Player Uno in an impromptu match to end the show.

*****

4 Years of THIS?!
Results Quick and Dirty

Most Valuable Zombie Match: Zombiefied beat Michael Von Payton in 6:48.

Quebec Co-Ed Match: Steve beat Addy Star in 4:52 by Submission to Sodomy.

Three Way Dance: Sexxxy Eddy beat Viking in 6:26 by Submission to Sodomy.

Fans Bring the Lego Weapons Death Match: Stinky the Homeless Guy beat Flip in 9:43 after two Stink-Bombs into a massive pile of Lego.

Inter Species Wrestling Other Title Match: Moohammad the Terrorist Cow defended his title, beating James Stone in 9:02 after a belt shot.

Impromptu Match: Maximus Primal beat Moostafa in 20 seconds.

Zombie vs. Panda?!: Izzy Deadyet beat El Hijo del Bamboo in 6:53.

Number One Contender Match: Kevin Steen beat Twiggy with a Package Piledriver after 15:04 to become the Number One Contender to the ISW Title.

Inter Species Wrestling Title Match: Player Uno defended his title, beating El Generico in 14:42

Giant Tiger Match: Giant Tiger beat Player Uno to become the Inter Species Wrestling Champion..

*****

4 Years of THIS?!
Detailed Results

Here is how the Inter Species Wrestling 4th Year Anniversary show started for me: I was helping the ISW big-breasted merchandise girl at the gimmick table when the ISW music went off and I realized that I was in completely the wrong place to start the show. I White-Rabbited around the crowd heading for the stage, until I ran up the stairs leading to the stage and banged my head off the metal ceiling of the staircase.

My head was still ringing when Giant Tiger hit the ring to call out Mike Rotch for his match. When Rotchy refused to come out, Giant Tiger threatened Rotchy promising to ruin Inter Species Wrestling. After he left, I introduced our ring announcer and left to find some aspirin.

4 Years of THIS?! began with a match between the world's fastest zombie, Zombiefied and Michael Von Payton. M.V.P. started the match pretending to be Zombiefied's friend, shaking his hand, slapping him and then trying the same trick thirty seconds later. Unfortunately for M.V.P. while Zombiefied may have lost some brain function, he is not a complete idiot and Zombified does have a long memory. While M.V.P. was able to use a series of back-breakers to slow Zombiefied down, it wasn't enough to stop him from going up top to flip his way to victory.

I have been waiting in dread for the sexual harassment paperwork from Addy Star after this match. Steve may be even more sexually aggressive than Sexxxy Eddy. A desperate Addy was forced to deliver more low blows than a Ric Flair "Dirtiest Player of the Game" high-light reel. Disturbingly, after losing the match to Sodomy, Addy did an about-turn and started chasing after Steve.

Before their planned three-way dance started, Viking and Sexxxy Eddy sat in the crowd drinking beer while Beef Wellington got on the mike and denounced ISW management for allowing wrestlers to get drunk before and during a match. Beef said that he had only agreed to do the match because he was paid in advance, but Beef refused to work in such unsafe conditions and quit not just the match but the whole promotion.

One quick historical point: ISW's origins lie in Beef's famous match against A Bear during the IWS Fifth Anniversary show V in June 2004. ISW would not exist without Beef Wellington.

Without Beef Wellington, the three-way dance became an all-out brawl between Viking and Sexxxy Eddy. They killed themselves through the crowd with Viking having the edge outside teh ring, but Eddy regaining control every time they got back into the ring. In a move that could basically be described as a raised middle finger to ISW on behalf of his fellow member of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Sexxxy Eddy secured his victory against Viking by stealing Steve's Sodomy submission which we had seen just moments before. A furious Viking retaliated by hitting Eddy with a cock-slam after Eddy's submission victory was announced.

Stinky and Flip damn near killed each other in the World's first ever Fans Bring the Lego Death Weapons Match. It was by no means an easy victory for Stinky: he had to overcome Flip's allies bovine overlords, Moostafa and Moohammad. Having done that, Stinky had to recover from a series of Lego-assisted curb stomps. The tide turned when Stinky pulled out a cardboard D-Lo Brown vest covered in Lego and Stinky sealed the deal with two massive Stink Power-Bombs into a huge pile of Lego.

After the match, Stinky tried to shake Flip's hand and his former best friend appeared to want to take Stinky up on the offer, but Moohammad yanked Flip away with his leash.

After the intermission, James Stone tried to win the ISW Other match in a sequel to his match against Moohammad the Terrorist Cow from our Vans/Warped show. In their first match, James went up top and paid the price when Moohammad pushed from off the top head-first into the crowd (and the guard-rails between the crowd and the ring.) In a reprise, James dominated the match but lost when he went up top, only for Moostafa to unexpectedly save his brother by tossing Moohammad the ISW Other belt which James hit head-first.

Moostafa sometimes seems to be living in his own world. He was in a surprisingly good mood on Sunday despite not making this year's roster of Dancing With the Stars having been rejectred for being neither a star nor human. During his brother's match, Moostafa was having his own match with an imaginary opponent leading to an imaginary victory for the ISW Other belt. Flushed with that victory and with having done the right thing for once and saving his brother's belt, Moostafa issued an open challenge... answered by Maximus Primal who destroyed the Dancing Cow in twenty seconds. Maximus Primal then announced that he was gunning for the ISW Other Title which he would win for himself and the fans.

Izzy Deadyet ran his winning streak up to five victories defeating El Hijo del Bamboo by Shining Wizard with That Zombie Move. In a nauseating twist, Izzy kept regaining the advantage in teh match by ripping his own ear off and stuffing it down either the ref's throat or the Puroresu Panda's throat. Fortunately, Izzy contented himself with merely beating Bamboo Jr. rather than also devouring the Panda's brains as Izzy did with Dan Paysan and Pinkie Sanchez during his current reign of terror.

Has Twiggy ever had a bad match in ISW? M.V.P. may have the initials, but Twiggy is Inter-Species Wrestling's Most Valuable Wrestler. Here is why I love Twiggy as a wrestler: There is no way in hell that Twiggy should ever be able to beat Kevin Steen, but Twiggy had the crowd convinced, had himself convinced and almost had Kevin Steen convinced that Twiggy's victory was inevitable.

In one of the many great moments of the match, Steen (who had previously stolen and worn Twiggy's bandanna) tried to put on Twiggy's leather jacket, got trapped with it halfway on. After Steen finally got loose, he gave the jacket an elbow drop and kicked it into the crowd. The closest Twiggy came to pinning Steen came after Twiggy ambushed Steen while he was kicking the leather jacket out of the ring.

The key word is almost. When Steen realized that he was in danger of losing the match, he found that extra gear that makes him one of Canada's best and finished Twiggy off. With the victory secure, Kevin Steen praised Twiggy just long enough for Twiggy to drop his guard, at which point Kevin - like a total dick - stomped Twiggy down.

It seems hard to believe that Player Uno and El Generico have never faced one another in a singles match. Both men are very similar in style and in their appeal to the fans with Generico being faster and Uno having a bit more power. With both men being fan favourites, the crowd simply cheered the good wrestling and there was a lot to celebrate. Uno had the tiniest sliver of an advantage that he exploited to win the match, giving the 8-Bit luchadore successful title defences against Kevin Steen, Twiggy, Hallowicked, Viking, El Generico and M.V.P.

But Uno had no time to celebrate his hard-won victory. Giant Tiger came out of nowhere to whack Uno with his walking stick and waving his open contract at the referee, demanded that a title match start right away. While Uno was woozy from the cane shot, he refused to allow himself to be pinned quickly and easily. Uno rallied to attack Giant Tiger, but before he could pin the Gingerbread Man, Sexxxy Eddy hit the ring and clobbered Uno with the title belt. One no-hands pedigree later and the unthinkable had happened: Giant Tiger had gone from joke to evil genius and ISW champion and the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen have taken control of Inter Species Wrestling.

Eddy and GY attacked Uno after the bell. Stunned by what happened, I foolishly got into the ring, only to be attacked in-turn by Giant Tiger, suffering a mild concussion when either Tiger or Eddy sat on my head still ringing from the whack that I gave myself earlier in the show.

In a not-an-apology phone call this week, Giant Tiger explained to me that he had attacked me, partly because I got in-between him and Uno, and partly because he was worried that I "was about to Jack Tunney the belt away!" Truthfully, I would like nothing better. Sadly, Giant Tiger had a legal contract to wrestle anyone he wanted at any time, for the stakes of his choice and under the rules of his choice. Making matters worse, Uno had a long-standing policy that he would accept any challenge. Under those circumstances, I have no choice but to recognize Giant Tiger as the legal Inter Species Wrestling Champion.

God help us all.

*****

Hardcore Heat Card to date:





IWS Title Match:
The Challenger
El Generico
vs.
IWS Champion
Beef Wellington



IWS Tag Team Title Match:
The Challengers
EXesS and
Heavy Maxx Fury
vs.
IWS Champions
The Untouchables
Dan Paysan and
James Stone

















IWS Canadian Title Match:
The Challenger
Sexxxy Eddy
vs.
IWS Canadian Champion
Shayne Hawke

Six Man Scramble
Fatal Four-Way Match

Urban Miles
vs.
Mike "Speedball" Bailey
vs.
Twiggy
vs.
Jagged

Burning Tables Match
Loser Gets FIRED:
PCP Crazy F'N Manny vs.
The Green Phantom

Canada's Greatest Athlete!
Nic Paterson brings
Canada's Greatest Athlete
to the IWS.

Fred vs. The World
WonderFred
vs.
"A World-Class Opponent"

*****

IWS DVD & Ticket Special

I now have copies of the IWS Tenth Anniversary show X in my office. They are $20, or you can get the DVD and a VIP ticket to Hardcore Heat for $30. Special is good until Friday, August 28th. You can pay by paypal: Llakor@hotmail.com or contact me at that e-mail address for more details.

*****

International Wrestling Syndicate presents Hardcore Heat on Saturday, August 29th, at the Just For Laughs Museum Studio, 2101 Saint-Laurent, Montreal. Doors open at 8:00PM, Bell rings at 9:00PM. VIP Tickets are $20, Regular Tickets are $15.00. 18+ Card and Times subject to change.