Thursday, February 24, 2011

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM (#2 in a series)

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM 
Montreal, March 27th, Foufounes Electriques

Might as well start with the headline match. The Inter Species Wrestling champion, leader and founder of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and (as he has recently reminded me) the Beef Father-Fucker Champion of the World, the one, the only (and thank God for that) Giant Tiger finally putting his title on the line against WWF veteran, Wrestling Society X star (under the name Matt Classic) and the second funniest man in wrestling, Colt Cabana.

At least in theory we are supposed to be getting Colt Cabana vs. Giant Tiger.

The fly in the ointment with that particular plan is that the ISW promoter, one Mikhail Q. Rotch Esquire, made the classic blunder of announcing the match before getting Giant Tiger to sign a contract agreeing to show up on March 27th, bring his belt and defend his title against Cabana or anyone else.

GT naturally is less than enthused about defending his title especially against world-class competition like Colt Cabana, so he started badgering Rotchy with a series of ridiculous demands. The last time something like this happened before the first ISW Connecticut show, GT made a series of ridiculous demands, Rotch caved on all of them and GT still didn't show up to the match.

Or as an even better example, before our 4th Anniversary show, Rotchy failed to get Giant Tiger to sign a contract for a match. This led to GT coming to the ring and challenging Rotchy to a match. When Rotch refused to wrestle Giant Tiger, GT declared victory and then used that victory as the basis for challenging Player Uno at the end of the show allowing Tiger with Sexxxy Eddy's help to steal the ISW title from Uno. This also led to me getting the shit kicked out of me by Giant Tiger and Eddy.

While my powers as Your Beloved Commissioner are largely honorary and theoretical, I decided to involve myself in this situation, before it spiralled out of control, which is why (I guess) when I came back from lunch the other day, I walked in on Giant Tiger sitting at MY desk, cyber-stalking celebrities online on MY computer while simultaneously making long-distance calls to California on MY phone. 

Despite the sleazy start to the negotiations, I am happy to report that I was able to convince Giant Tiger to sign a contract to show up at BONER JAM and defend his ISW title. I am not 100% happy with what I had to promise Giant Tiger to get him to sign the contract, but the contract is signed and I am told that video of the signing will be going up shortly.

While we are waiting for that, here is the black and white version of the BONER JAM poster.

BONER JAM: Black and White and Read All Over!

Credit Rotchy for making sure that BONER JAM had a great star to wrestle in the main event, but when Giant Tiger actually shows up to wrestle him, you can credit Your Beloved Commissioner (i.e. ME!) for forcing Giant Tiger to show up and bring the ISW title belt with him.

Remember that BONER JAM is at Foufounes Electriques on Sunday, March 27th. You can get tickets from me at my office. E-Mail for information about tickets and some special offers.


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