Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM (#4 in a series)

Inter Species Wrestling presents BONER JAM 
Montreal, March 27th, Foufounes Electriques

Having already looked at the Title match between Inter Species Wrestling Champion Giant Tiger and the recently crowned NWA World Heavyweight Champion Colt Cabana, let's turn our attention to the men jockeying for position to challenge the winner of that match.

There are four men set to wrestle one another in a Contender's Clash match at BONER JAM (Kevin Steen, Player Uno, Sexxxy Eddy and Twiggy.) and the winner of the match will become the ISW Number One Contender.

The match started (as so many ISW matches do) after a chance encounter in the men's washroom of an Ottawa Legion hall.

The odds-on favourite to win this match is Mr. Wrestling Kevin Steen. The irony is that Steen has previously won a match to become the ISW Number One Contender... only for Kevin to never actually cash in his victory and challenge for the ISW title. In a way, it has always seemed like Kevin Steen has for years been about to win the ISW Title and just never got around to it, like it was the last thing on his to-do list that he never quite got around to checking off.

I understand all about procrastination and the regret that sometimes comes from putting off until tomorrow --- next week --- whenever that thing that never seemed quite important enough to get to until you realize the opportunity that you just let slip by. Imagine how Kevin Steen feels now. If he had cashed in his opportunity and claimed the ISW Title earlier, it would be Kevin Steen getting ready to face the NWA World Heavyweight Champion instead of Giant Tiger. There is no guarantee that Steen would have been able to turn the match into title vs. title (or a guarantee that he would have won the match) but a victory over Colt Cabana in Kevin's hometown in a match where the NWA title was not on the line, would immediately propel Steen into consideration for a title match against Cabana for the NWA title down the line.

I can tell you that Steen is furious over this lost career opportunity and when Steen gets mad his only solution is to hurt other people in the ring.

One of Steen's favourite targets to destroy in the ring is Player Uno, but Uno has become increasingly difficult for Steen to kill. Player Uno has strong motivations to win this match: he has unfinished business with Giant Tiger who ambushed Player Uno at the end of our 4 Year Anniversary show and essentially stole Uno's belt (with Sexxxy Eddy's help.)

Since losing his belt to Giant Tiger, Uno has actually pinned Giant Tiger but not in a match where the belt could go back to where Uno believes that it rightfully belongs - around his waist.

So Player Uno has to win this match to get his revenge match with Giant Tiger. To do so all he has to do is to beat on a rival that he dislikes (Kevin Steen) and the other man who cost Uno his belt (Sexxxy Eddy).

It would be easy to underestimate Sexxxy Eddy in this match. Eddy has always treated ISW like a huge drunken lark. And for ISW fans, Eddy winning this match would seem like a worst-case scenario. After all, he seems to be only in this match to protect the interests of Giant Tiger and the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

On the other hand, Eddy has always valued titles over friendships and allegiances. He has never really shown that gold-hungry mercenary streak in ISW, but then again he has never, ever been in a position to win gold in ISW before.

Eddy winning this match might actually be the worst thing that could possibly happen... not for the fans, but for the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I am sure that in theory it makes sense that if Sexxxy Eddy won this match that he would immediately allow Giant Tiger to pin him, but I don't think that Sexxxy Eddy is hard-wired that way. I don't think that Sexxxy Eddy is physically capable of passing up a chance to win a title any more than he is capable of overlooking a pretty girl.

Could Sexxxy Eddy winning this match be the first domino to fall in a chain that eventually topples the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?

There is of course, one final wrestler that I am overlooking, that the fans are ignoring and that the wrestlers in this match are not taken as seriously as they should... which might just be his secret weapon, but more about Twiggy tomorrow...

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