Montreal, March 27th, Foufounes Electriques
I was incredibly excited to post this video, but as sometimes happens in the wacky world of wrestling, events in the larger wrestling universe have overtaken my petty little schemes. What seemed like a stroke of genius only Friday now seems like an act of idiocy that could shake the very fabric of the wrestling universe.
Before we get to the video, I should explain a little bit of the context. Unlike much of the Inter Species Wrestling upper management, until the Inter Species Wrestling 4th Anniversary show, I never really had a problem with Giant Tiger. In fact, the reason that I was randomly named ISW Beloved Commissioner for Life (by Rotchy and Twiggy on commentary) in the first place? Beef Wellington was trying to weasel out of wrestling Giant Tiger and I forced Beef to do the match. The Gingerbread Man was very appreciative of my efforts on that day and has generally shown me respect backstage ever since.
We actually almost bonded when Giant Tiger confessed to me that he was a "crack addict" until he explained that he wasn't talking about drugs and his (drunken) explicit description of rimming left me nauseous and repulsed.
To cut a long story short (too late) the point is that even after Giant Tiger and Sexxy Eddy attacked me in the ring at the conclusion of our 4th Anniversary show - leaving me with a concussion and a partially detached retina (that I will only be able to have corrective surgery for the week after BONER JAM)... Even after that, the Gingerbread Man and I have at least been able to have civil discussions and negotiations, unlike say GT and Rotch who invariably end up looking like a pair of angry 12 year-olds trying to fight while wearing Sumo fat suits. Giant Tiger even sent me an apology gift after putting me in the hospital - granted it was a box of his shit, but it's the thought that counts... Right?
When Rotchy was unable to get Giant Tiger to sign a contract to wrestle Colt Cabana at BONER JAM, I was the guy that he turned to do his dirty work. This video is the result of my meeting with Giant Tiger to discuss the contract.
Yes, I did trick Giant Tiger into signing a contract to wrestle Colt Cabana. In my defence, if Giant Tiger is still taking wrestling promoters at their word after this long, well he desperately needs to be taught not to trust us back-stage weasels. (Normally, I would love to say exactly how long GT has been in the wrestling game but Giant Tiger is the most frustratingly difficult wrestler to research that I know of.)
And I will admit, I was feeling pretty good about getting GT to sign the dotted line and he was equally pissed off at me... until Colt Cabana pinned NWA World Heavyweight Champion Adam "Scrap-Iron" Pearce on Sunday at the NWA Hollywood Pro Show to become NWA World Heavyweight Champion for the first time, making him the latest champion in a proud tradition that includes Lou Thesz, Dusty Rhodes, Harley Race, Terry Funk, Ric Flair, Sting and Ricky Steamboat, not to mention Canadian legends like Whipper Billy Watson, Yvon Robert Sr. and the recently deceased (adopted-by-Quebec as one of their own) Edouard Carpentier.
A proud tradition that might, just might, now be sullied by adding the names "Giant Tiger" to that list. There is an infinitesimally small, but real possibility that after March 27th, 2011, the Gingerbread Man could be the Inter-Galactic Beef Father-Fucker Wrestling Champion AND the Inter Species World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion AND (God Forbid) the NWA World Heavyweight Champion.
Despite the hourly phone calls, text messages and tweets that I have been receiving from members of the League demanding a title vs. title match between Colt Cabana and Giant Tiger at BONER JAM, at this time I can neither confirm nor deny that the match will be title vs. title. Heck, I can't even confirm that the match will be sanctioned by the NWA or even if Colt Cabana will still be NWA Champion on March 27th.
But there is a chance, maybe only a lottery ticket chance, but still a chance that at BONER JAM, Giant Tiger could become the new NWA World Heavyweight Champion and that possibility fills me with dread and massive, massive, massive GUILT.
On the plus side, Giant Tiger just left a tweet saying that he wants own the belt that used to belong to Dr. Dre and Ice Cube, so Colt's actual belt may not be in that much jeopardy after all.
No matter what happens though, BONER JAM has just gone from a MUST-SEE show to a OH MY GOD! CAN'T MISS THIS SHOW. Get your tickets Now! Contact me at Llakor@hotmail.com to buy them in Montreal.
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Corrections Department
In my last post about this show, I wrote the following:
before our 4th Anniversary show, Rotchy failed to get Giant Tiger to sign a contract for a match. This led to GT coming to the ring and challenging Rotchy to a match. When Rotch refused to wrestle Giant Tiger, GT declared victory and then used that victory as the basis for challenging Player Uno at the end of the show allowing Tiger with Sexxxy Eddy's help to steal the ISW title from Uno.I have been reminded by a certain Mikhail Rotch, Esquire, owner of ISW, of the following:
GT was granted an open contract - and he challenged me (Rotch). I didn't come out - so it was STILL an open contract. Thus, granting him (Giant Tiger) the chance to challenge for the title.
Rotchy is of course correct. The exact sequence of events of that show is somewhat cloudy in my mind, given that I received a concussion at the end of the show from a beating administered by Giant Tiger and Sexxxy Eddy, but I do regret this tiny, niggling error.
I will try and do a better job in the future of remembering the exact sequence of events that happen at shows where I get the shit kicked out of me.
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