C*4 Wrestling Violent Intentions
The Live Tweet Summary
I was at the C*4 show put on during the weekend blizzard. (Those guys really need to invest in a mad scientist with a weather control machine.) Since I live-tweeted the show,
freaking out my
co-host on the
Mousterpiece Cinema podcast, I thought that I should transcribe my tweets and add a few other random thoughts.
Live
Tweet: Razen beats Ryan Rogan in 3:51 after Rogan whiffs on a top rope spinning moonsault. Not sure if it is significant that the best spots in the Dark Match were moves that hit nothing but mat.
C*4 Official Results: Razan pinned Ryan Rogan.
Random
Thoughts: The second missed move was a sweet elbow drop also by Rogan. Mixing big whiffed spots into a dark match are a good idea. They emphasize that you are on the undercard, missing something that someone higher on the card would hit. They also allow you to show-off without stealing anyone's thunder.
*****
LT: Jae Rukin beats MVP in 8:19 thanks to Prince Rahim Ali distraction from ringside.
C*4: Jae Rukin pinned Michael Von Payton in a competitive match. The end saw Rahim Ali emerge from the locker room, shouting at MVP, causing him to be distracted. Rukin took the opening, and managed to score the win.
RT: Jae Rukin has a great unique look, like an #OccupyWallStreet protestor crossed with a Ninja and interbred with a Chia Pet. He is also a hell of a wrestler. He does need to work at involving the crowd a bit more in his matches. He has a tendency to wrestle with his back to the audience.
*****
LT: Twiggy beats
Barely Legal Addy Starr by disqualification in 7:37. End sequence: Twiggy roll-up pulling tights gets two, Starr complains to ref, Twiggy swats her on the butt to get her attention, Starr snaps - starts killing Twiggy with kicks in corner, ref counts her to DQ.
C*4: Twiggy was victorious over Addy Starr via DQ, when she ignored the referee’s 5-count in the ropes. Addy lost her ‘cool’ following an ass-slap by Twiggy. Despite the disqualification victory, Twiggy celebrated it as a major win.
RT: This was so good. I could easily write 1,000 words just on this match and I may yet.
*****
LT: 4 Way Tag Team Match: Afterparty vs the Hunks vs Hawke and Style vs Ryder and Lucky Sabiti. Winner: The Afterparty with double pin on Michael Styles 11:22.
C*4: In a wild and entertaining contest, The Afterparty of Cecil Nyx and Chaz Lovely overcame three other teams to claim the victory. The other participants in the match included the teams of Michael Style & “Superstar” Shayne Hawke, The Incredible Hunks, and the tandem of Lucky Sabiti and HC Ryder.
RT: The unlikley Cecil Nyx victory tour continues. Hawke was great, playing up the fact that Nyx was too damn fat for him to power-slam. Nyx is a case study on achieving more with less and slowing things down. Because Nyx completely involves the crowd, when he is able to string together three moves in a row without screwing up, the crowd celebrates like their baby son just took his first steps.
*****
LT: Pat Skillz threatens to throw everyone out into the snow if he doesn't get a match Darkko answers. To the surprise of absolutely no one (except Pat Skillz) Darkko beats Pat Skillz in 3:13.
C*4: The debuting Darkko pinned Pat Skillz in an open challenge. Skillz came to the ring before the match and announced that he was angry with C*4 management not giving him a match on the event, and said that as one of the owners of CRW that he would shut the show down, if he did not get a match. A second later, Darkko walked out of the back and was happy to oblige Skillz’s wish.
RT: Darkko is awesome. Pat Skillz does a pretty good impression of road kill.
*****
LT: Grudge Match - Mathieu St-Jacques beat Player UNO in 11:00 by submission. UNO wrestled one armed for most of the match.
C*4: In an extremely hard-hitting and competitive match, Mathieu St. Jacques forced Player Uno to submit to a cross-face armbar. Uno hurt his arm early in the match, and St. Jacques spend the majority of the contest focusing on the injured limb. Despite his best efforts, St. Jacques proved too much for Uno. Following the match, St. Jacques continued to pound on Uno, and to make matters worse, he was joined by Thomas Dubois in the assault. Both men celebrated following the beat down of Uno. The question now becomes, where does Thomas Dubois stand in relation to The Authority? It is well known that Dubois and St. Jacques are a well-known Quebec tandem. Has Dubois have found his way into the growing faction in C*4?
RT: UNO is (of course) fantastic and he found some innovative ways to fight Mathieu St-Jacques with just one arm.
*****
LT: In a shocking upset Ronin Josh Alexander beat Textbook Tyson Dux in 12:31. That wasn't in the Textbook!
C*4: In a highly competitive and extremely hard hitting contest, “Ronin” Josh Alexander continued his winning streak by pinning “Textbook” Tyson Dux. Both men hit each other with everything that they had. The finish came after Alexander nailed Dux with a roaring elbow to the back of Dux’s head, and knocked him out.
RT: Hey! Marc P.! Invest in a thesaurus or find a new way to say "competitive." Unfortunately Ronin Josh Alexander does nothing for me. This was a match that the wrestlers liked because of its technical excellence, but the crowd basically shat on it, because it felt like the two men were ignoring the crowd for most of the match. The other problem is that both wrestlers make good straight men working against crazier wrestlers, but the put the two together and it is like beige fighting vanilla.
*****
LT: Sebastian Suave vs Vuxx Vellmar. Vuxx Velmarr could best be described as a crazy Québécois homeless guy who somehow knows Muay Thai. You can call this match #OccupySebastianSuave. Sebastian Suave believes the ref is neither fair nor balanced. (It's Mitt Romney vs The Rent Is Too Damn High.) Your winner is Sebastian Suave in 12:01, but really in a match like that there are no losers.
C*4: In the “Authority Open Challenge”, Sebastian Suave, pinned the debuting Buxx Belmar, in a very exciting match-up. Suave’s victory came with the assistance of his manager, Selezya Sparx. Selezya helped distract Bellmar several times during the match, and in the end, the double team of Suave and Sparx proved too much for ‘Dirty’ Buxx.
RT: I misheard screwed up during the show, it is Buxx Belmar not Vuxx Velmar. Buxx is actually the former Busty Love, but he has had a complete personality transplant and it works so so well. Every move that he makes now is character based and if your wrestling comes from a character and a compelling one to boot than you can't possibly go wrong. Someone to watch.
*****
LT: C4 Championship Triple XXX SeXXX XXXpress SeXXXy Eddy vs The Emperor Stu Grissom. Senior moment it's The Emperor Stu Grayson not Grissom. #MyBad. The Voice wimps out when announcing SeXXXy Eddy says Eddy has five pounds in his trunks. Makes it sound like Eddy took a dump in his thong. The correct announcement naturally is "Five pounds of pure cock-meat!"
The Emperor mocks Eddy by stripping sloooooowly but Eddy counters with the Testicular Claw. Eddy is rocking a great White Man Fro tonight btw. The winner by submission and still C4 Champion The Emperor Stu Grayson (in 11:08). The lesson, as always, when wrestling Sexxxy Eddy make sure your manager is a pretty red head with big tits and no morals.
C*4: C*4 Champion, “The Emperor” Stu Grayson forced Sexxxy Eddy to submit, using his patented Dragon Sleeper. Once again, Authority valet, Selezya Sparx used her assets to help distract Eddy at various times throughout the match. Eddy fought hard, but in the end fell to the Champ.
RT: Eddy literally got off a plane from Japan to wrestle in this match. He has every possible excuse to take the night off, but Eddy (as he so often does) brought it, rising to the level of his adversary and as Eddy does with his best opponents forcing Stu to step up his game as well. We too easily forget how much all of Quebec Canadian wrestling owes to Eddy. Without his gold lame thong, there is no Steenerico.
*****
LT: Main Event Kevin Steen and Franky the Mobster vs Speedball Mike Bailey and RHINO! It is possible that my biggest contribution to independent wrestling may have been naming Mike Bailey "Speedball". Steen objects to Franky shaking hands with Speedball. Franky roars like a lion with a toothache "I'M NICE!!!" Steen does not object to Franky shaking hands with Rhino #HeMayBeLearning.
Steen kicks Speedball so hard that he scans the horizon afterwards #HA. Franky the Mobster makes for a very unusual and unlikely Jiminy Cricket #AlsoMoreTanned. Rhino makes the hot tag and Kevin Steen sprints out of the ring likely someone just announced the Crafts and Services tent was open. Speedball dodges a Kevin Steen snot rocket. Franky gets the loogie right in the face #OHOH. Speedball Mike Bailey pins Steen with a top rope floppy thing (Shooting Star Press?) after Franky kills Kevin 13:20.
C*4: In the Main Event, the team of “Speedball” Mike Bailey and Rhino claimed the win over “Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen and Franky the Mobster. Throughout the match, Steen avoided Rhino, several times tagging out to Franky. The finish saw all four men going at it, when Steen accidentally spit on Franky. Finally having enough, Franky laid Steen out with a sit-out chokebomb. Franky stormed out of the ring, leaving Steen alone. After a moment, Kevin got back to his feet, only to find himself knocked flat by a huge Gore by Rhino. Bailey capatalized and delivered a sky-high shooting star press on to Steen, and scored the victory.
RT: I could nit-pick: Rhino could have been used a bit more in the match. It was a little weird that Kevin Steen was always running away from Mike Bailey.
But, again, that would be nit-picking. On a night when multiple other matches threatened to steal the show, the main-eventers stole it right back. The story that they told worked perfectly, with Kevin as the craven opportunist using Franky to give him opportunities to stomp on Bailey, and Franky as Kevin's friend, unwilling bodyguard, and strangely Kevin's conscience.
There are good silences in wrestling and there are poor silences in wrestling. When Kevin blew that snot-rocket and Bailey (incredibly) DODGED IT, the whole place went dead silent waiting to see what Franky would do. It was a fantastic Holy Shit! moment and based purely on character. Something that they had spent the whole match building up to.
This was a really, really great show. Even the match that felt to me the weakest (Josh Alexander/Tyson Dux) probably comes across better on DVD as a technical spectacle. Well worth buying when C*4 puts it together.
